It’s never too late to empower yourself physically or mentally

Bree Gurin is a 65 year-old first-degree black belt practicing at Yu’s Academy of Martial Arts. Having experienced a violent attack by her ex-husband and rape by a family acquaintance, Bree was determined to never again be in a submissive, compromised position. She began her martial arts training at age 55 and was astounded at the emotional and physical empowerment she realized, which allowed her to make better choices both personally and professionally. Bree’s martial arts practice has become an essential component of her life, providing enrichment through the excellent friendships developed at Yu’s Academy and the satisfaction of consistently being presented with and surmounting new challenges.

“If I’d had the gift of martial arts/self defense training as a youngster, I probably could have avoided being victimized since, prior to my training, my entire demeanor and mindset screamed vulnerability.” Bree Gurin.

FOUR EXCELLENT REASONS TO LEARN SELF-DEFENSE by Bree Gurin

Is self-defense a worthwhile endeavor? You bet it is but not only for the obvious reason of being able to physically protect ourselves. The less apparent but equally valuable benefits of learning and practicing women’s self defense, listed below, can provide a positive influence in every aspect of your life.

Empowerment
Being able to protect ourselves physically frees us from the helpless victim mindset and awakens us to the fact that we are capable of taking assertive action in other areas of our lives.

Self-confidence
Nothing builds confidence and self-esteem better than realizing you are in control of your own responses to life’s challenges.

Safety
This newly found empowerment and self-confidence are obvious to those around us and can discourage a would-be attacker from risking resistance or, even worse, retaliation.

Physical fitness
What a wonderful bonus to becoming a self-reliant, powerful and confident woman! Approximately 500 calories are burned during a one hour martial arts class which is good for your heart, lungs and your appearance!

In Conclusion
So what are my words of advice as a former “victim”?

Get started now! As a long time practitioner of Tae Kwon Do, I can vouch first-hand for the amazing changes my martial arts practice has made in every area of my life.

We have a serious problem in our local community – in EVERY local community in the United States. It’s called human trafficking of minors. Reports estimate that more than 300,000 children are being sexually exploited in the United States. These are U.S. citizens, minors, children, girls, boys, kids as young as 9 years of age, being lured in and then trapped into a life of selling their bodies and souls for the sexual gratification (and profit) of others. This is not just an international problem, but a local problem and its jeopardizing our future.

At the DCF conference, I heard from Shaleen Silva who works for a fantastic organization called Paul & Lisa Program, Inc.  They are trained to bring the My Life. My Choice project into group foster homes and schools to educate and empower at risk girls and youth from entering into “The Life” as they call it or prostitution.

What was most shocking was to learn that the children that are ensnared in human trafficking often don’t realize that they are victims. Their pimps and exploiters have sufficiently manipulated them, abused and threatened them such that they don’t even realize the magnitude of the offense. Often times, the victims call their abusers their “boyfriend” or “Daddy” and think that the abusers actually care for them.

Here are some facts:

• there are over 300,000 children (US citizens girls and boys) exploited each year in the USA…and growing
• 80-90% of these victims suffered childhood sexual abuse, often incest
• the average age of entry into childhood prostitution is 12 years of age (some are recruited as young as 9)
• 75% of these domestic minors who are ensnared in childhood prostitution have attempted suicide; 15% of them has succeeded in taking their own lives.
• 10-20% of US adult men have paid for sex at some time in their life (or currently)

The face of the modern day pimp is much different than what you may imagine. They include the “Media Pimps” the “Sneaker Pimps” and the “Business Level Pimps.” They tightly control their “inventory” and have a firm grasp of the money and finances in their “business.” They all have superb internet marketing skills and use the internet to lure women and girls and to secure customers. They even use the internet to train others how to be effective pimps.

Pimps are constantly recruiting. They know how to spot a vulnerable youth and how to lure her and gain her trust. They hang out in places where run-aways and foster kids who go “AWOL” from group homes may go. They even use grandmother-looking women impostors to lure kids at train stations and bus depots.

Shaleen Silva told us about a 48-72 hour window when run-aways are most likely be approached by a predator masking as someone who can help them. They offer to provide their basic needs, such as food, shelter, clothing, money – in trade for something. Sometimes the recruitment “dance” can go on for several weeks or months until the youth is tricked into life of sexual servitude and prostitution. They are told to lie about their age. They learn to lie to everyone, just to survive.

Yet, some youth have the illusion that there is something glamorous about it all. You just need to watch the video below to understand the reality. Produced by the organization GEMS, this video entitled “The Marking of a Girl” gives a chilly reality check with its powerful personal narration of “You don’t know what it’s like when…”

Scary. Very scary…and very real.

Red Flags that Youth May be Involved in Sex Trafficking

Because few victims actually realize that they are being victimized (despite the atrocities that are happening to them), very few girls report the abuse. Here are some of the visible signs that you need to keep your eye on that might suggest that the young girl may be involved in sex trafficking and need help:

• Tattoos. Pimps like to brand their girls with tattoos – a way of marking their inventory
• Exhaustion. Victims of sex trafficking are focused to work at night and often get little or no sleep.
• Hotel Room Keys. Girls may have on their possession extra hotel room keys that their pimps have given them.
• Multiple cell phones and pagers
• Increased use of street talk.
• Tons of new friends that they aren’t willing to tell you about.
• Repeated incidence of STD or sexually transmitted diseases.
• Change in clothing, jewelry, hair and make-up use.
• Unexplained absences.
• Increased use of the Internet – visits to inappropriate sites.
• More gifts and presents than normal.

Change of language changes attitude

Shaleen Silva explained why the simple change in the way we talk about this problem from Prostitution to Domestic Minor Sex Trafficking  can help us all better understand the severity of what’s really going on. We need to stop thinking of these girls as prostitutes, whores, ladies of the night, but to see them as the VICTIMS that they really are.

What can you do?

There is much work to be done in order to eliminate the threat of domestic minor sex trafficking in the USA. What is needed in order to combat this huge problem and to rescue these victims and help them to heal and recover from this trauma? For starters…

1. Awareness of this serious human rights issue and education for law enforcement agencies, law makers, social service providers, teachers, parents, teens and other concerned citizens;
2. Programs that bolster girls’ self esteem and confidence and increase their understanding of the realities of “the life” and how to avoid it;
3. Additional support & services for sex trafficking victims and cooperation between law enforcement and social services to deliver those programs and support in a coordinated and compassionate manner. Remember, these teen girls are the VICTIMS, not the criminals.

Please note that I no longer allow comments on this blog because I have found that it is largely the exploiters who take advantage of this open communication channel to advertising their poison.

For the rest of you, I thank you for reading this blog article. Please forward it to other people that are motivated to eliminate this horrific social injustice. Let’s us unite our efforts with the resolution that “Our children are NOT for sale!”

Taila’s dreams are in sharp contrast to the dismal story that I heard yesterday from Victor Malarket who reported on the misery of the girls and women who are being trafficked around the world and are serving as modern day slaves through prostitution. (read about how human trafficking is enslaving women and girls everywhere and the johns or customers who are fueling this horrific social problem)

Talia was the recipient of this year’s Violet Richardson award from Soroptimist, a non-profit womens service organization dedicated to improving the lives of women and girls in local communities and around the world. Soroptimist believes that by acknowledging young women volunteer involvement now, they will grow up to be vital active members of the community. The Violet Richardson Award honors young women between the ages of 14 and 17 for volunteer action such as fighting drugs, crime and violence, cleaning up the environment and working to end discrimination and poverty.

Talia’s vision is to take the goodness of the child and turn it into goodness for the world by helping kids help others.Through RandomKid she helps kids to become innovative and successful world problem-solvers, which will secure a better fate for our world now, and into the future. Through the collective power of kids, Talia and her motivated organization of youth have raised more than $10,000,000 and have funded life saving projects around the globe. (read about the current projects that kids are getting involved with)

Talia’s actions and results are impressive by any measure, but they are even more remarkable when you consider her young age. This woman certainly has found her purpose and is mobilizing others into a powerful new community of world problem solvers. In her acceptance speech that was read at the Soroptimist “Living Your Dreams” award luncheon yesterday, Talia shared some of her guiding principles and core beliefs which I have paraphrased below. They are good reminders for ALL of us – young and old.

“The more people who BELIEVE that they can make a difference, the more powerful that difference is. After seeing the power of kids, I want to be someone who cares about the success of our planet, not  just the success of ourselves. Small efforts matter most because success is the end result of an accumulation of actions. I want to be someone who believes in the power of anyone!”

Check back tomorrow for my third and final post from San Francisco where I am attending the 41st biennial convention of the Soroptimist International of the Americas. – Kathy McAfee